Die Crème de la Crème der Hadithe

Hier eine Auswahl von Sahih-, also authentischen, Hadithen, die Episoden aus dem Leben Mohammeds schildern. Der Islam hält ihn für den größten Menschen, der je gelebt hat, und er selbst widersprach nicht: Er nannte sich den Herrn der Kinder Adams und fügte bescheiden hinzu, dass er damit nicht prahle (Sahih Muslim 2278; Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3615).

Die Hadithe überliefern auch seine Lehren, und der Guru des Islam überließ nichts dem Zufall, nicht einmal die intimsten Angelegenheiten. Wie soll man sich nach der Notdurft abwischen? Mit Steinen, mindestens drei, und niemals mit der rechten Hand (Sahih Muslim 262). In ungerader Zahl (Sahih al-Bukhari 162). Niemals mit Knochen oder Dung, denn sie sind Nahrung der Dschinn (Sahih al-Bukhari 3860). Den Polytheisten seiner Zeit war das aufgefallen:

„Euer Gesandter lehrt euch alles, sogar über die Exkremente.“— Bemerkung gegenüber Salman al-Farsi, der mit „Ja“ antwortete (Sahih Muslim 262)

Es wurde auch Zeit. Mit nur 86 Milliarden Neuronen hätte die Menschheit ein so komplexes Verfahren nie allein ausarbeiten können. Muslime nennen die Zeit vor dem Islam die Dschahiliyya, das Zeitalter der Unwissenheit. Jetzt wissen wir, worüber.

Jesus sprach von der Latrine nur, um zu sagen, dass das, was dort landet, niemanden verunreinigt: Was den Menschen verunreinigt, kommt aus seinem Herzen (Markus 7,18–23). Dann predigte er weiter die Nächstenliebe. Bei allem Respekt vor dem Sohn Gottes: Es gibt im Leben mehr als die Liebe. Sechs Jahrhunderte später brachten Allah und sein Gesandter das Gespräch wieder auf praktische Dinge. Mohammed bleibt mit Abstand der pragmatischste Prophet, den der Gott Abrahams je gesandt hat.

Wenden Sie diese Hadithe an, und Ihr Leben könnte sich durchaus ändern: Mohammed war ein beeindruckender Lebenscoach. Erwarten Sie aber keine Spiritualität. Sie finden bodenständige Anweisungen und Drohungen, die Spezialität des Hauses. Auch hier ist der Kontrast zu Jesus vollkommen. Könnte Mohammed der Antichrist sein? Er wäre ein überzeugender Kandidat. Laut dem Ersten Johannesbrief ist der Antichrist derjenige, der „den Vater und den Sohn leugnet“ (1. Johannes 2,22), und Allah „zeugt nicht und ist nicht gezeugt worden“ (Koran 112:3). Schon im 8. Jahrhundert nannte Johannes von Damaskus den Islam „einen Vorläufer des Antichristen“.

Das Original jedes Hadiths lässt sich auf sunnah.com überprüfen.

97 HaditheSeite 1 von 5
  • Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 14 #MuhammadIsHyperNarcissistic#UsingTheDivineToGainPowerAClassicGuruTrick
  • Narrated Ibn 'Umar

    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: "I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), and offer the prayers perfectly and give the obligatory charity, so if they perform that, then they save their lives and property from me except for Islamic laws and then their reckoning (accounts) will be done by Allah."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 25 #IncitementToHatred#PlevenLawWhereAreYouHiding
  • Narrated Ibn 'Abbas

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 29 #ExtremeMisogyny#SandrineRousseauWakeUp
  • Narrated 'Ubaidullah bin `Abdullah

    Ibn `Abbas said, "When the ailment of the Prophet (ﷺ) became worse, he said, 'Bring for me (writing) paper and I will write for you a statement after which you will not go astray.' But `Umar said, 'The Prophet is seriously ill, and we have got Allah's Book with us and that is sufficient for us.' But the companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) differed about this and there was a hue and cry. On that the Prophet (ﷺ) said to them, 'Go away (and leave me alone). It is not right that you should quarrel in front of me." Ibn `Abbas came out saying, "It was most unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise.

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 114 #UmarIsAfraidOfBeingOustedFromTheSuccession
  • Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar

    Once the Prophet (ﷺ) led us in the `Isha' prayer during the last days of his life and after finishing it (the prayer) (with Taslim) he said: "Do you realize (the importance of) this night? Nobody present on the surface of the earth tonight will be living after the completion of one hundred years from this night."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 116 #Kaamelott-esque#MontyPythonStyle
  • Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari

    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "If anyone of you goes to an open space for answering the call of nature he should neither face nor turn his back towards the Qibla; he should either face the east or the west."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 144 #MontyPythonStyle#Kaamelott-esque
  • Narrated `Aisha

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said to his wives, "You are allowed to go out to answer the call of nature."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 147 #ThankYouMaster#MagnanimousGuy
  • Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar

    “I went up to the roof of Hafsa's house for some job and I saw Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) answering the call of nature facing Sham (Syria, Jordan, Palestine and Lebanon regarded as one country) with his back towards the Qibla.”

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 148 #DoAsISayNotAsIDo#ThanksForTheInfo#GoodToKnow#ValuableInformation
  • Narrated Anas bin Malik

    Whenever Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went to answer the call of nature, I along with another boy used to accompany him with a tumbler full of water. (Hisham commented, "So that he might wash his private parts with it.")

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 150 #ThanksForTheInfo#GoodToKnow#ValuableInformation
  • Narrated Abu Huraira

    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "A person is considered in prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer in the mosque as long as he does not do Hadath." A non-Arab man asked, "O Abu Huraira! What is Hadath?" I replied, "It is the passing of wind (from the anus) (that is one of the types of Hadath).

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 176 #MontyPythonStyle#Kaamelott-esque#MuhammadIsTalkingNonsenseToHisFollowers
  • Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah

    “The Prophet (ﷺ) used to pour water three times on his head.”

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 255 #ThanksForTheInfo#GoodToKnow#ValuableInformation
  • Narrated Abu Ja`far

    Jabir bin `Abdullah said to me, "Your cousin (Hasan bin Muhammad bin Al-Hanafiya) came to me and asked about the bath of Janaba. I replied, 'The Prophet (ﷺ) uses to take three handfuls of water, pour them on his head and then pour more water over his body.' Al-Hasan said to me, 'I am a hairy man.' I replied, 'The Prophet (ﷺ) had more hair than you'. "

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 256 #ThanksForTheInfo#GoodToKnow#ValuableInformation
  • Narrated Abu Huraira

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'The (people of) Bani Israel used to take bath naked (all together) looking at each other. The Prophet (ﷺ) Moses used to take a bath alone. They said, 'By Allah! Nothing prevents Moses from taking a bath with us except that he has a scrotal hernia.' So once Moses went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Moses followed that stone saying, "My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone! till the people of Bani Israel saw him and said, "By Allah, Moses has got no defect in his body. Moses took his clothes and began to beat the stone." Abu Huraira added, "By Allah! There are still six or seven marks present on the stone from that excessive beating."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 278 #TakeMeForAFool#GiveMeAFuckingBreak
  • Narrated Abu Huraira

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When a man sits in between the four parts of a woman and did the sexual intercourse with her, bath becomes compulsory."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 291 #ThanksForTheInfo#GoodToKnow#ValuableInformation
  • Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri

    Once Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) of `Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 304 #ExtremeMisogyny#SandrineRousseauWakeUp
  • Narrated Abu Huraira

    "The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Last night a big demon (afreet) from the Jinns came to me and wanted to interrupt my prayers (or said something similar) but Allah enabled me to overpower him. I wanted to fasten him to one of the pillars of the mosque so that all of you could See him in the morning but I remembered the statement of my brother Solomon (as stated in Quran): My Lord! Forgive me and bestow on me a kingdom such as shall not belong to anybody after me (38.35)." The sub narrator Rauh said, "He (the demon) was dismissed humiliated."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 461 #TakeMeForAFool#GiveMeAFuckingBreak
  • Narrated `Aisha

    The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman (if they pass in front of the praying people)." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away. for I disliked to face him."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 511 #ExtremeMisogyny#SandrineRousseauSaveUs
  • Narrated Abu Huraira

    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) said, "Any person who takes a bath on Friday like the bath of Janaba and then goes for the prayer (in the first hour i.e. early), it is as if he had sacrificed a camel (in Allah's cause); and whoever goes in the second hour it is as if he had sacrificed a cow; and whoever goes in the third hour, then it is as if he had sacrificed a horned ram; and if one goes in the fourth hour, then it is as if he had sacrificed a hen; and whoever goes in the fifth hour then it is as if he had offered an egg. When the Imam comes out (i.e. starts delivering the Khutba), the angels present themselves to listen to the Khutba."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 881 #TakeMeForAFool#AndMyAssIsMadeOfChicken
  • Narrated Salman Al-Farsi

    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) said, "Anyone who takes a bath on Friday and cleans himself as much as he can and puts oil (on his hair) or scents himself; and then proceeds for the prayer and does not force his way between two persons (assembled in the mosque for the Friday prayer), and prays as much as is written for him and remains quiet when the Imam delivers the Khutba, all his sins in between the present and the last Friday will be forgiven."

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 910 #StopSmoking#CheapSpirituality
  • Narrated Anas bin Malik

    Once in the lifetime of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) the people were afflicted with drought (famine). While the Prophet (ﷺ) was delivering the Khutba on a Friday, a Bedouin stood up and said, "O, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Our possessions are being destroyed and the children are hungry; Please invoke Allah (for rain)". So the Prophet (ﷺ) raised his hands. At that time there was not a trace of cloud in the sky. By Him in Whose Hands my soul is as soon as he lowered his hands, clouds gathered like mountains, and before he got down from the pulpit, I saw the rain falling on the beard of the Prophet. It rained that day, the next day, the third day, the fourth day till the next Friday. The same Bedouin or another man stood up and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! The houses have collapsed, our possessions and livestock have been drowned; Please invoke Allah (to protect us)". So the Prophet (ﷺ) raised both his hands and said, "O Allah! Round about us and not on us". So, in whatever direction he pointed with his hands, the clouds dispersed and cleared away, and Medina's (sky) became clear as a hole in between the clouds. The valley of Qanat remained flooded, for one month, none came from outside but talked about the abundant rain.

    Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari 933 #MuhammadTheMerlinOfTheMiddleEast#Kaamelott-esque#MontyPythonStyle#YouHaveToBePreciseWithAllah
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