The cream of the hadiths
Here is a selection of sahih, or authentic, hadiths recounting episodes from the life of Muhammad. Islam considers him the greatest human being who ever lived, and he did not disagree: he called himself the master of the children of Adam, adding, modestly, that he was not boasting (Sahih Muslim 2278; Jami' at-Tirmidhi 3615).
The hadiths also record his teachings, and the guru of Islam left nothing to chance, not even the most intimate matters. How should one wipe after relieving oneself? With stones, at least three, and never with the right hand (Sahih Muslim 262). In an odd number (Sahih al-Bukhari 162). Never with bone or dung, which are food for the jinn (Sahih al-Bukhari 3860). The polytheists of his time had noticed:
"Your Apostle teaches you about everything, even about excrement."— Remark made to Salman al-Farsi, who answered "Yes" (Sahih Muslim 262)
It was about time. With only 86 billion neurons, humanity could never have worked out such a complex procedure on its own. Muslims call the era before Islam the Jahiliyya, the Age of Ignorance. Now we know of what.
Jesus spoke of the latrine only to say that what ends up there defiles no one: what defiles a man comes out of his heart (Mark 7:18-23). Then he went back to preaching love of one's neighbour. With all due respect to the Son of God, there is more to life than love. Six centuries later, Allah and his Messenger brought the conversation back to practical matters. Muhammad remains by far the most pragmatic prophet the God of Abraham ever sent.
Apply these hadiths and your life may well change: Muhammad was a formidable life coach. But do not expect spirituality. You will find down-to-earth instructions and threats, the house specialty. Here again, the contrast with Jesus is total. Could Muhammad be the Antichrist? He would make a convincing candidate. According to the First Epistle of John, the antichrist "denies the Father and the Son" (1 John 2:22), and Allah "neither begets nor is born" (Quran 112:3). In the 8th century, John of Damascus already called Islam "a forerunner of the Antichrist".
The original of every hadith can be checked on sunnah.com.
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Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children."
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Narrated Ibn 'Umar
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: "I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), and offer the prayers perfectly and give the obligatory charity, so if they perform that, then they save their lives and property from me except for Islamic laws and then their reckoning (accounts) will be done by Allah."
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Narrated Ibn 'Abbas
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
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Narrated 'Ubaidullah bin `Abdullah
Ibn `Abbas said, "When the ailment of the Prophet (ﷺ) became worse, he said, 'Bring for me (writing) paper and I will write for you a statement after which you will not go astray.' But `Umar said, 'The Prophet is seriously ill, and we have got Allah's Book with us and that is sufficient for us.' But the companions of the Prophet (ﷺ) differed about this and there was a hue and cry. On that the Prophet (ﷺ) said to them, 'Go away (and leave me alone). It is not right that you should quarrel in front of me." Ibn `Abbas came out saying, "It was most unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise.
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Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar
Once the Prophet (ﷺ) led us in the `Isha' prayer during the last days of his life and after finishing it (the prayer) (with Taslim) he said: "Do you realize (the importance of) this night? Nobody present on the surface of the earth tonight will be living after the completion of one hundred years from this night."
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Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "If anyone of you goes to an open space for answering the call of nature he should neither face nor turn his back towards the Qibla; he should either face the east or the west."
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Narrated `Aisha
The Prophet (ﷺ) said to his wives, "You are allowed to go out to answer the call of nature."
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Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar
“I went up to the roof of Hafsa's house for some job and I saw Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) answering the call of nature facing Sham (Syria, Jordan, Palestine and Lebanon regarded as one country) with his back towards the Qibla.”
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Narrated Anas bin Malik
Whenever Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went to answer the call of nature, I along with another boy used to accompany him with a tumbler full of water. (Hisham commented, "So that he might wash his private parts with it.")
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Narrated Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "A person is considered in prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer in the mosque as long as he does not do Hadath." A non-Arab man asked, "O Abu Huraira! What is Hadath?" I replied, "It is the passing of wind (from the anus) (that is one of the types of Hadath).
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Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah
“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to pour water three times on his head.”
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Narrated Abu Ja`far
Jabir bin `Abdullah said to me, "Your cousin (Hasan bin Muhammad bin Al-Hanafiya) came to me and asked about the bath of Janaba. I replied, 'The Prophet (ﷺ) uses to take three handfuls of water, pour them on his head and then pour more water over his body.' Al-Hasan said to me, 'I am a hairy man.' I replied, 'The Prophet (ﷺ) had more hair than you'. "
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Narrated Abu Huraira
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'The (people of) Bani Israel used to take bath naked (all together) looking at each other. The Prophet (ﷺ) Moses used to take a bath alone. They said, 'By Allah! Nothing prevents Moses from taking a bath with us except that he has a scrotal hernia.' So once Moses went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Moses followed that stone saying, "My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone! till the people of Bani Israel saw him and said, "By Allah, Moses has got no defect in his body. Moses took his clothes and began to beat the stone." Abu Huraira added, "By Allah! There are still six or seven marks present on the stone from that excessive beating."
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Narrated Abu Huraira
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When a man sits in between the four parts of a woman and did the sexual intercourse with her, bath becomes compulsory."
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Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri
Once Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) of `Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion."
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Narrated Abu Huraira
"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Last night a big demon (afreet) from the Jinns came to me and wanted to interrupt my prayers (or said something similar) but Allah enabled me to overpower him. I wanted to fasten him to one of the pillars of the mosque so that all of you could See him in the morning but I remembered the statement of my brother Solomon (as stated in Quran): My Lord! Forgive me and bestow on me a kingdom such as shall not belong to anybody after me (38.35)." The sub narrator Rauh said, "He (the demon) was dismissed humiliated."
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Narrated `Aisha
The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman (if they pass in front of the praying people)." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away. for I disliked to face him."
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Narrated Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) said, "Any person who takes a bath on Friday like the bath of Janaba and then goes for the prayer (in the first hour i.e. early), it is as if he had sacrificed a camel (in Allah's cause); and whoever goes in the second hour it is as if he had sacrificed a cow; and whoever goes in the third hour, then it is as if he had sacrificed a horned ram; and if one goes in the fourth hour, then it is as if he had sacrificed a hen; and whoever goes in the fifth hour then it is as if he had offered an egg. When the Imam comes out (i.e. starts delivering the Khutba), the angels present themselves to listen to the Khutba."
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Narrated Salman Al-Farsi
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) said, "Anyone who takes a bath on Friday and cleans himself as much as he can and puts oil (on his hair) or scents himself; and then proceeds for the prayer and does not force his way between two persons (assembled in the mosque for the Friday prayer), and prays as much as is written for him and remains quiet when the Imam delivers the Khutba, all his sins in between the present and the last Friday will be forgiven."
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Narrated Anas bin Malik
Once in the lifetime of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) the people were afflicted with drought (famine). While the Prophet (ﷺ) was delivering the Khutba on a Friday, a Bedouin stood up and said, "O, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Our possessions are being destroyed and the children are hungry; Please invoke Allah (for rain)". So the Prophet (ﷺ) raised his hands. At that time there was not a trace of cloud in the sky. By Him in Whose Hands my soul is as soon as he lowered his hands, clouds gathered like mountains, and before he got down from the pulpit, I saw the rain falling on the beard of the Prophet. It rained that day, the next day, the third day, the fourth day till the next Friday. The same Bedouin or another man stood up and said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! The houses have collapsed, our possessions and livestock have been drowned; Please invoke Allah (to protect us)". So the Prophet (ﷺ) raised both his hands and said, "O Allah! Round about us and not on us". So, in whatever direction he pointed with his hands, the clouds dispersed and cleared away, and Medina's (sky) became clear as a hole in between the clouds. The valley of Qanat remained flooded, for one month, none came from outside but talked about the abundant rain.
